Ni duo da le?

"How Old Are You?" My friend, June, asked. Having just celebrated my birthday, I was fairly sure I was 28 years old. I was corrected today. I am actually 30. Who knew? We were sitting in the café, discussing our Chinese zodiac signs and ages, and upon saying I was a 28 year old mouse, June began doing some mental math and was quick to let me know nicely that indeed, I was wrong. Yes, I am a mouse according to Chinese astrology. This is based on the year I was born. Easy math since there are only 12 animals on the Chinese zodiac which cycle and all the Chinese know the order so can quickly figure out what “you are” by working backwards from the current year in multiples of 12.

Anyway, back to why I am 30 according to the Chinese. June began explaining that when you are born, the Chinese believe that you turn one. Okay, I thought, this isn’t too uncommon. Most of the Korean students at my school go by the same rule, so when asked their age, they have a “Korean” age and an “other” age. But where did that extra year come from? The Chinese also believe that on Spring Festival (Chinese New Year), you celebrate another birthday (along with 1.3 billion other Chinese citizens who also celebrate their birthday during Spring Festival). SO, since I turned 1 year old upon being born, when Spring Festival came in January of 1985, I became 2 years old with the rest of the country. Then when my real birthday came soon after on February 7 in ’85…can you guess? Yup that was actually my 3^rd birthday. Silly me. Haha. After that, the birthdays stayed the same, but it all added an extra 2 years to my age. Confused yet? Yeah, it took June a few times to walk me through the math and calendar to understand the logic behind it all. It makes sense when you look from the perspective and traditions of Chinese culture.

Just when you think you know everything…

Sticky Backs and Kidney Cures

Scams are everywhere. Even in my small town of Beilun, China (600,000)…well small by Chinese standards. Our town is incredibly safe. I have never felt more safe in any other country I’ve traveled. There is very little crime that I see or hear of here and when I do it is usually a bike stolen or shotty construction, that’s it. But nonetheless, we are a growing community with very few foreigners, so when opportunity strikes to take advantage and make a quick yuan (buck) sometimes people do. With that said, I have a story about my dear friend and a scam she encountered on her wayto the grocery today.

After working all day on school work, she decided it was time for a stroll to RT Mart (our local grocery). Sunny day, brisk winter air, and a smile on her face I’m sure, she saw a small group of monks dressed up at a major intersection as she approached. One had a drum, playing the beat while the others hung around. She crossed the street and one of them approached her and spoke a little English. They grabbed her hand and began to read her palm (or at least she thinks…at this point communication was all in Mandarin). Then they showed her some little pamphlets, did some hand gestures towards her back and left her totally confused as to what they were getting at. So she politely smiled and began to plan her departure from this weird show to the grocery. Suddenly, one of the “monks” pulled up the back of her sweater and stuck two pieces of paper on her back. The papers were covered with a super sticky tar-like substance, so when she pulled and started to feel them, they were stuck. She immediately called a Chinese friend to ask what was going on and get advice onwhat to do. Her friend told her this was a scam and to walk away because they would be asking for money soon. Sure enough, the so-called monks were now showing my friend the hand signal for the number 6, “liu”. They wanted her to pay 6 yuan (about 1 USD) for the “help” they just gave her. She refused and walked away. After following her for a short distance, they gave up and headed back to the intersection as my friend went on to the grocery in shock and disbelief. What just happened and why her, oh why her?

After a quick trip into the grocery with the sticky papers still on her back, she came to the café to share her story and get a little help removing the odd papers. She explained it all and after another friend and I scrubbed most of the sticky stuff off of her back (seriously the stuff was like tar), we asked another Chinese friend about the papers and overall experience. We were told that this was a scam for the people who were dressed as monks to make some money. They read your fortune and tell you they can bring good health to you by placing the sticky papers on your kidneys and then once they do (with or without your permission) they charge you money. Strange but true. I have never seen or heard of this before, so was in disbelief that it just occurred less than a mile away.

My friend has a tremendous sense of humor so told us this in the midst of laughter. I can’t help but imagine this going down in the U.S. I see an arrest and charges somewhere in that scenario. Such an odd violation of personal space. Luckily my friend only suffered from a bruised ego and a sticky back, but to me it kind of signifies the end of something I held so dearly in my town. I don’t know what to call it…Trust? Genuineness? Respect? Of course this is the exception, not the rule. There are so many helpful, caring, and generous people here who just want to assist you, talk to you, and be friendly to a foreigner. But I guess now I must admit, that like anywhere else, there are people out there with the wrong intentions who are willing to take advantage of any opportunity to make some quick money…even in Beilun.

So next time I am walking to the grocery, I will guard my back…tuck my shirt into my pants…whatever it takes to avoid a sticky back and a sequel to this blog post J Thank you unnamed friend, for allowing me to share your story...

Knitters Unite

I had my birthday this past week (thanks for all the emails and facebook wishes). I thought about blogging about it, but I really don’t like celebrating my own birthday (although Erich and my friends in China did a wonderful job surprising me with a vegetarian potluck party). So that’s all I’ll say about the birthday…because I’m much more excited about talking about my new hobby…knitting! J

Seriously. Itall started when I found some needles and wool in the art room and wished I had use for them. I asked my Canadian friend, Line, if she knew anything about knitting and her eyes lit up! We began making plans to purchase more supplies, and after talking about it to other friends, found that there was a whole group of people who knew how to knit. It was our job to unite the knitters of Beilun! So we met one Sunday after ordering needles galore and wool of many colors and thicknesses. I was surprised at the things my friends had made…gloves, leg warmers, hats, sweaters, socks and of course scarves. They all looked store bought and I was immediately inspired to learn.

We also had another source of inspiration. A friend we had made this year, Lisa Carducci (also an internationally published author who has lived in China for over 20 years), has been collecting winter coats and accessories for children in the minority cultures/provinces of China who need the added warmth but cannot afford it. She also provides funds for education for many of these children…a truly amazing person. Google her and read one of her books. Anyway, in our imaginations, our little knitting circle would knit until our fingers fell off to give these little ones some warm winter clothes. But realistically, Line is working on a pattern for a durable, warm scarf/hat that will last and be simple enough to make a lot of. Next year, we hope to mail a bunch of knitted goods to Lisa and the kids. Line and Kari (fellow knitter and Nursery teacher) are leaps and bounds ahead of me and have been making some beautiful and complicated things. As for me, I have successfully completed 2 scarves and am currently learning socks J Baby steps, but I am getting better with each thing I make.

So every Sunday at 4:00, we meet at Cup O’ Joe in front of the fire place, with mugs of tea or glasses of wine and knit away as we chat, laugh, pull apart mistakes, and teach one another new stitches. It has become something I look forward to all week. I knit at home and it is a relaxing escape from typing on the computer and lesson planning. But there is something about being in the company of good friends with a shared interest…bonding over something so simple and ending the evening with a big hug and smiles all around. In the States, they call it “stitch and bitch”, right? There was a recent resurgence of knitting and crafting when I was leaving that I loved. It’s a very authentic way of creating art that is practical and carrying on a tradition that has been passed down through families and friends over generations. Being able to literally “warm” someone with something you made is pretty cool and I am sometimes amazed at the things I see knitted here. Makes you look at the racks of winter hats and scarves differently when you go shopping now… “oh, I can make that…”

As we sit and knit, we have also struck up all kinds of conversation with other customers at the café as well. First, there are all of the Chinese women who come in and stare to see that the foreigners can knit. So many women here knit…you see them in storefronts or shops knitting away between customers. So when they come across our little group, they often ask to knit a row or two, learn a new stitch, or just want to praise you on your skills (even though most of them were at my level when they were under the age of 10). And then there are all of the European and British men who hang out at the café that reminisce about how their mothers and grandmothers taught them to knit when they were young or how they created some random knitted project in school as a child. I guess it’s like riding a bike, you never really forget. They even use the terminology as they poke fun at our knitting group…knit one, purl one…untangling our wool for us and asking to try on the finished pieces J We even joked (but are somewhat serious) about coming up with a knitting club name and creating little clothing tags to sew onto our knitted work once finished…it’s all definitely “Made in China”. So we’re open to any creative suggestions…

Time Off

What do you take time off of work to do? Vacation, care for a sick relative, attend a conference, dentist appointment? All of the above I imagine. I doubt your answer included anything about terminating a pregnancy, which is why I was taken a bit by surprise when recently a Chinese friend of mine gave this as her answer for taking 2 weeks off of work. Before I expand, note that I am not interested in pro-life/pro-choice debates...it's not about that. I have my opinions and others have there's...I respect that even when I don't agree. It's more about the fact that in my culture this stirs controversy and in Chinese culture it is just a part of life. There is a one-child policy. If you do not have the financial stability to pay the tax/fee for having a second child, there really is no other option. I researched and found that an abortion costs about $88 here, which is not cheap by Chinese standards, but it’s affordable and the operation is standard procedure…about 13 million are done in China alone each year. And although statistics ranged depending on the sources I checked, about 35%-50% of women in China who have one abortion have at least one more in their lifetime.

With that in mind, it made me wonder about birth control here. I have heard from a foreign friend that one of the primary forms of birth control besides condoms is IUD in China, but I don't know what percentage of women even use this. From what I can gather, China seems to be on the fringe of a “sexual revolution” where it is becoming more acceptable to have casual sex, have sex at a younger age, and express sexuality in the way you dress and act. But I’m not sure about the education of it all..are the coming generations informed about STD’s, sexual health, and the like? Why are there so many abortions? I wonder if it is cheaper to get an abortion than to pay for a year of birth control? Does health insurance (for those that even have it) cover and make birth control a priority? I know my Chinese health plan does not include or cover the cost of any birth control. Is there a stigma against those who use birth control? I wouldn't think so in a country where family planning is such a big deal. So many questions the more I consider this topic.

But back to my friend. It was no secret really. My Chinese girlfriends openly told me, although she did not want to discuss it with Erich. But that is more about the social standards of Chinese culture than the issue of abortion. Women here tend to mainly hang out with women and men with men. Even my younger Chinese friends will invite only girlfriends to movie, dinner or to hang out...the men hang out separately somewhere else. (It’s not an issue of one sex being more superior to another…communism emphasizes that the women contribute and work as hard as the men and are awarded the same benefits. Just because you are a man or woman doesn’t mean you can’t contribute to the betterment of society as a whole. Men and women share that responsibility. That’s a whole different blog though. I digress.) So the fact that the news was shared openly with me but whispered in front of Erich was more of a reflection of social interactions in general in China rather than a reflection of any embarassment or shame in having the procedure done.

So I wonder…would my friend (who already has one child, so would be breaking the law to have a second) have the baby if this wasn’t a legal issue? Does that thought even pass through her mind? In the States, the concern is for women’s rights and choice. Pro-choice advocates defend a woman’s right to choose if abortion is right for her and to decide what happens within her own body. Pro-lifers are concerned about the rights and choices of the unborn baby. And here in China where the act of abortion is a non-issue, the issue seems to be more centered on “can the government force abortions?” A complete 180. It’s not about, “Are abortions right or wrong?”, it’s about “Should abortions be the choice of the individual or the society?” Right now, it’s the latter…and an entirely different issue of women’s rights. In the States women struggle to have the right to terminate a pregnancy by their own choice, in China, women struggle to have the right to birth multiple babies by their own choice. It’s an interesting shift in perspective for Erich and I as we consider our friend’s time-off.